Mother’s Heart is loud.
Overly, outlandishly loud.
Aloy has barely stepped foot inside of the settlement and it’s as if she’s being assaulted on all sides. People are shouting, singing, talking. About what she has no clue, nor any desire to know.
Her mind is still reeling. From what happened with Rost.
She told him that he taught her how to track, and wherever he goes, she would follow.
But for now, she simply doesn’t have the time. The Proving is just around the corner, and she has to win. She has to find out why she was outcast from the tribe. And what happened to her mother.
That has to be the priority right now, no matter what.
Even so, watching Rost walk away was the hardest thing Aloy has ever had to do. She cherished the sound of his voice and his footsteps. Held them close as he disappeared from sight, not knowing when she would hear them again.
Rost is the only person that knows Aloy for all that she is. The one person she trusts wholeheartedly in this world. He is the man who raised her, and so, so much more.
Their bond is unbreakable, or at least she had thought so until now.
Learning that he was willing to throw it all away, as if their time together meant nothing?
Aloy can still feel shameful, weak tears threatening to gather at the corners of her eyes.
It’s hard to focus, but somehow, she keeps pace with Teersa down the busy path, looking toward the old woman with curiosity. Rost had said that Teersa is a High Matriarch, and would help Aloy to find her feet. From the moment they met, however, Aloy has noticed that there is something strange in Teersa’s gaze. Something that she can’t quite describe.
As if Teersa knows something important about Aloy that she herself does not.
‘Hurry along, child.’ Teersa says, leading her past what looks like the town square. It is full of people obnoxiously dancing and cheering to exuberant music. ‘It’s a shame, but I don’t have as much time as I would like with you before the ceremony starts.’
‘What do you mean?’ Aloy asks, confused.
‘Envoys are here from another tribe – the Carja.’ Teersa leads them down a path to the left. Aloy sticks by her, as far away from the commotion as she can. ‘But that is for me to worry about. For now, she is eagerly waiting for you.’
Aloy’s heart stops along with her feet.
A flare of hope ignites in her chest before she can stop it.
‘… She?’ Aloy asks, almost breathless. ‘You mean…?’
‘Yes. She.’ Teersa’s smile is warm as she turns back to Aloy, placing a hand on her shoulder.
The action would normally have Aloy tense like a bowstring, so unused to socialization or touch. But as it stands, she is stood still as an Old World statue, unable to move.
‘Your mother.’
As a child, Aloy always wondered what her mother would look like.
Countless times she has dreamt of a woman with hair as red as fox fur. With blushing rosacea that dances across her cheeks. A warm smile framed by a thousand speckled freckles. And eyes that are as deep as fathomless clusters of greenshine.
And a name… One so beautiful and… Ancient.
As if plucked straight from a story book of the Old Ones.
‘It’s time, dear!’ Teersa calls as they enter a small family lodge. ‘She’s here.’
Aloy lingers near the door in the unfamiliar space, her head tilted with anticipation.
‘Aloy?’
The woman that comes out of a room down the hall looks nothing like what Aloy envisioned. Her hair is dark, twisted into a style similar to other Nora. There are no freckles on her face, nor any redness in her cheeks. Only markings of All-Mother blue, and eyes that are unfamiliar dripping pools of amber.
Even so, Aloy tenses, feeling something seize up within her as they lock eyes.
‘Aloy!’ The woman, her mother, calls, looking overjoyed as she places a hand to her heart.
‘… Mother?’ Aloy calls back as if on instinct alone, the word feeling like a hollowed whisper.
‘You’re back!’ Her mother rushes to her, wrapping Aloy in an embrace so tight that she can barely breathe. ‘Oh, All-Mother be praised! My darling, you’ve gotten so big! And so beautiful.’
Aloy merely stands there as she kisses her face, feeling herself being held impossibly tight. Her skin burns where her mother touches her, overwhelmed and so unused to affection of any kind.
Her mother does not notice, merely pulling back to take Aloy’s face in her hands.
‘Welcome home, daughter.’
‘They’re uh… a little loud. Don’t you think?’
‘Well of course. Why wouldn’t they be? They’re playing to celebrate the Proving, after all.’
‘I see…’ Aloy says, resisting the urge to place her hands over her ears as they walk past a strident throng of people drumming and dancing.
‘Up along here will lead us to the common area.’ Her mother points up a path to the right. ’There’s much to show you.’
‘Alright.’ Aloy follows her lead.
They are taking a tour of Mother’s Heart. Teersa had said that she would reunite with them later after the lantern ceremony, stating she has other important business to attend to elsewhere. While Aloy had wanted to ask for more details, it was very hard to pass up the opportunity to spend quality time with her mother.
A concept with which she is still slowly coming to grips with.
The two of them walk arm in arm along the snow encrusted path, pausing to say hello to everyone that notices them. Aloy has only known her mother for not even an hour yet, but already she can tell that she is someone of importance. From what little she knows about the tribe, Aloy would guess that her mother is a Brave. But where exactly she falls in the ranks is yet to be seen.
Not that it matters much at the moment anyway. As Aloy’s attention is kept elsewhere.
She’s noticed that her mother is… clingy.
There is no other word that Aloy can think of to describe it.
She tries not to fidget as her mother keeps them impossibly close, instead attempting to focus on asking what she really wants to know; Why she was cast out in the first place.
‘… Mother?’ She asks, the new word coming out timid and unsure.
‘Yes, darling?’
‘Why,’ Aloy noticeably pauses at the nickname, not used to that either. ‘Why was I-‘
‘ALOY!’
The two of them startle.
Aloy looks ahead on the path, spying a young man waving to her.
‘Aloy! It’s you, isn’t it? Over here!’
‘Teb.’ Her mother says with a disapproving frown. ‘There is no need to shout.’
‘Oh, my apologies.’ The man, Teb, says as they approach. ‘But, it is Aloy, right? I’m remembering your name correctly?’
‘Yes, but how do you know that?’ Aloy says, confused and suspicious. ‘I don’t know you.’
‘My name is Teb.’ He introduces himself. ‘You probably wouldn’t remember me, but we’ve met before.’
‘When was this?’ Her mother asks, raising a dark eyebrow.
‘I met Aloy when she was probably half my size.’ Teb explains. ‘She saved me from being trampled by a herd of machines.’
Aloy blinks, his words triggering a memory.
‘I remember.’ She says, looking him over. ‘You tried to thank me.’
‘He did?’ Her mother looks between them with blatant surprise. ‘You spoke to her?’
‘I… I didn’t. I wasn’t able to, of course.’ Teb says nervously, immediately trying to placate her as she looks at him with clear suspicion. ‘So, instead I prepared an outfit for you Aloy, hoping to see you again someday.’
He reaches into a chest behind him and pulls out a set of armor. Aloy is unable to keep the surprise off her face as he casually gives it to her. It’s heavy in her hands. Every stitch is expertly weaved, the skirt colors dyed to perfection, and the bracers and buckles all meticulously crafted.
She gets lost while looking at it, and startles when a hand suddenly touches her back.
‘There’s a place over there to change.’ Her mother ushers her toward a small hut behind Teb’s stand. ‘Why don’t you try it on, darling?’
‘I…’ Aloy looks between her mother and the outfit, left speechless once again at that nickname. ‘Okay.’ She agrees awkwardly and steps inside.
The dressing room is snug; it only being three walls and a curtain shoddily put together to provide some form of modesty. Aloy nearly falls over more than once in the cramped space as she puts the outfit on, taking her time to run her fingers over the tanned leather and laces.
Once finished, Aloy moves to emerge from the changing hut, but her hand pauses on the curtain as she hears her mother’s hissing voice outside.
‘You do realize that you both could be outcast for that, right?’
‘I… I apologize. It’s not what you think.’
‘Aloy is my daughter.’ She snaps. ‘And I am not going to lose her again just because you can’t keep your ignorant mouth shut. Think before you speak.’
‘Yes. Of course, ma’am.’
Aloy raises a red eyebrow at this, pulling back the curtain and stepping out. They instantly stop talking, and Aloy suspiciously watches as her mother’s expression softens.
‘Aloy, you look wonderful dear.’
‘Um… thanks.’ Aloy says awkwardly, still not used to being talked to or looked at with such affection. Or even being talked to at all, if she’s completely honest.
She turns to Teb, a much safer option to steer the conversation.
‘Thank you, Teb. I’ve never had anything like this before.’
He smiles at her kindly and opens his mouth to speak, but her mother cuts in.
‘Well of course you haven’t.’ She tuts and picks at Aloy’s armor, inspecting it and straightening out the fur in places. ‘Those rags that man had you wearing… I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through until now.’
Aloy pauses.
‘That’s not it. I made those clothes myself.’ Aloy shakes her head. ‘Rost didn’t-’
‘Ah ah.’ Her mother holds up a finger, stopping her right there. ‘Don’t speak that name.’ She instructs sternly. ‘We don’t speak of outcasts here, Aloy. Not among the tribe. It’s not proper.’
Aloy frowns, going to protest, but her mother continues.
‘You will learn the ways of the Nora soon enough, my darling.’ She shakes her head, looking her daughter over with equal parts softness and pity. ‘Really, there’s probably so much that you’ve missed. I’d be surprised if you were even taught anything about All-Mother at all…’
Aloy stands up straighter, unable to stop herself from feeling offended.
Rost’s teachings of Nora traditions and legacies, while not exactly her favorite subject, were always something he earnestly tried to teach her ever since she was a baby. Hearing him be badly spoken of, even if it is by her own mother, has anger roiling in Aloy’s eyes.
‘Of course he di-‘
‘I know, dear. I know.’ Her mother cuts her off dismissively, and turns back to Teb, not allowing for Aloy to continue the conversation. ‘What do I owe you for this armor, Teb?’
‘Oh, nothing at all.’ Teb assures. ‘It’s a gift.’ He nods to Aloy. ‘Good luck tomorrow, Aloy. You can count that I’ll be rooting for you to win.’
‘Ah, thank you Teb.’ Aloy says, feeling a bit of whiplash with how to respond to what just happened.
Her mother thanks him as well and links their arms once more. Aloy looks at her with confusion but does not protest further as they turn back toward the path.
As they walk away, she glances back over her shoulder.
There is something that looks like sympathy in Teb’s eyes as he waves them goodbye.
‘Listen carefully, now. For you’ll have to tell this when I’m gone! In the beginning… all life came from All-Mother…’
‘Uh, Mother, you can sit down.’ Aloy says awkwardly. ‘I don’t mind standing.’
‘Nonsense.’ Her mother says. ‘I want to make sure you have the best chance to listen.’
‘If you say so.’
Aloy is sitting in front of a stage, where a Nora matriarch is telling the story of their tribe. Aloy has heard this one from Rost probably a hundred times by now. And while she doesn’t exactly want to listen to it again, the familiar words do at least provide some much-needed distraction.
Her mother is standing behind Aloy, her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, much like the other mother-child duos here. Her touch feels like lava even through the tanned leather of Aloy’s armor. The simple motion of her rubbing small circles into her back, an action which is probably meant to be soothing, feel like the sharp points of a knife. Aloy’s skin tingles from her shoulder blades down to her elbows, an uncomfortable sensation gathering in her chest.
Aloy has never been touched this much before. Not in her entire lifetime.
She doesn’t know how to handle it, and while she wants her mother to stop, she also doesn’t want to offend her. They just found each other, and after what just happened, Aloy doesn’t want to risk causing any more strain to this still fragile bond between them.
So instead, she clasps her hands together tightly, feeling the dull pain of her nails digging into her palms as her shoulders shake.
‘Darling, you’re so tense.’ Her mother says, smoothing her hands down Aloy’s shoulders to give her arms a squeeze. ‘Are you feeling nervous about the Proving?’
‘No.’ Aloy says.
It’s the truth, but also not. Aloy has been training for this her entire life. She knows she can not only finish, but win the entire thing. The wait leading up to it is admittedly not helping, though. Nor is the unexpected reality of finding her mother so soon, and everything that has been coming along with it.
‘Good.’ Her mother says and kisses her temple.
Aloy gasps and nearly stumbles off her chair with surprise at the sudden show of affection.
Her mother and a few other people look at her strangely, but neither of them can comment on it as the sound of a gong fills the air.
‘And that will be the Carja address.’ Her mother rolls her eyes.
‘The Carja address?’ Aloy asks, curiously looking up the road as people start making their way to the Matriarch’s Lodge.
‘Envoys from another tribe.’ She says, unimpressed. ‘Ignore them. They’re nothing but a distraction.’
‘But shouldn’t we-‘ Aloy moves to stand up.
‘No.’ Her mother says, her hands atop Aloy’s shoulders keeping her in place. ‘Teersa is there. She’ll fill us in on the details later.’
Aloy frowns, silent frustration coming over her brow as the storytelling continues.
The lantern ceremony is beautiful. Made twice as such because Aloy’s lantern is made just for her by her mother; something she never thought would happen in a thousand years. Even so, Aloy can’t help but think of Rost as she lights its flame and sets it adrift into the night sky.
This is the first night that they have ever spent apart.
What is he doing now? Is he missing her just as much as she misses him?
That thought hurts her heart as her prayer lantern strays among the sea of stars, getting lost in the crowd. She stands there under the warm gleam even after the ceremony has ended, trying to find it once more, but it’s gone forever, carried along with the wind.
She only turns away from the sight at the sound of approaching footsteps.
‘Aloy, how are you feeling?’ Teersa asks. ‘You seemed pale during the ceremony.’
‘Probably just nervous.’ Her mother places the back of her hand against Aloy’s cheeks, checking her temperature.
‘I’m fine.’ Aloy tries not to shy away from the touch but fails miserably.
She unconsciously leans back, having had more than enough for one day.
In doing so, she takes a look around, noticing that they are mostly alone in the aftermath of the ceremony. Her face then shifts into a stern expression as she looks at them both seriously.
‘I think it’s about time that I got some answers.’ Aloy frowns, her voice leaving no room for argument. ‘Why was I cast out at birth? What crime could I have committed as an infant?’
At this question, both her mother and Teersa share a glance, looking uncomfortable. Their silence only causes Aloy to frown more deeply.
‘She is your child.’ Teersa says gently. ‘You should tell her.’
Her mother sighs, looking over her daughter with a critical gaze.
She then silently reaches out, and picks up a lock of Aloy’s red hair.
‘This.’ She says simply.
Aloy blinks, her brow furrowing with confusion as she looks at the lock of red tresses.
‘Your hair.’ She confesses. ‘Lansra said that it is a sign of the Metal Devil.’
‘She bid we cast out, to cleanse you of its influence.’ Teersa explains solemnly with a nod. ‘At the time, I was the only one to oppose her. And the other High Matriarchs, they unfortunately sided with Lansra on this matter.’
‘They ripped you from my arms!’ Her mother hisses, taking a deep shuddering breath as she puts her face into her hands. ‘You were not even three days old!’
‘But…’ Aloy starts, confused and conflicted. ‘It’s just my hair. Why should it matter?’
‘Aloy, you are the only Nora to ever be born with red hair.’ Teersa says. ‘Have you not noticed?’
‘I… guess I did. But…’ Aloy shakes her head, trying to piece all of this together.
‘Enough. Don’t speak about it anymore. I’m upset enough already.’ Her mother goes to Aloy, pulling her into an embrace. ‘All that matters is that you’re here now. And with the Proving tomorrow, you’ll be cleansed in All-Mother’s eyes.’ She promises. ‘You’ll never be outcast again.’
Aloy reluctantly allows herself to be held, unsure of what else to do in that moment as her mother squeezes her uncomfortably tight.
With the lantern ceremony now over, Aloy and her mother head towards the aspirant cabin for those participating in the Proving tomorrow.
‘And this is where I leave you for now, darling.’ She brings Aloy to the base of the stairs, where some disgruntled-looking Brave is standing guard.
‘Will I see you? In the morning?’ Aloy can’t help but ask.
It’s strange. The entire time they’ve been together Aloy has been yearning for her personal space, but now that they’ll be apart, she doesn’t want her mother to go.
She smiles at Aloy sadly.
‘I will see you once the Proving is over.’ She says, her voice soft. ‘I hate to leave you, too. But I know you’ll do amazing tomorrow. All-Mother intends for it, I know.’
‘Right…’ Aloy resists the urge to roll her eyes at this notion, instantly reminded of Odd Grata and her constant praising of the Goddess.
As if nothing can ever be done by anyone else around here…
Someone scoffs from behind her, and Aloy turns to see the guard at the door looking down at her with clear contempt in his gaze. Before Aloy can even think of a response to such seemingly unwarranted malice, her mother steps in front of her.
‘Do you have something to say, Resh?’ She crosses her arms.
‘There are many things I would like to say.’ The man, Resh, responds.
‘Oh, really?’ She stands up straight, venom in her eyes.
‘Her presence here is blaspheme.’ The man sneers. ‘A curse.’
‘Her presence is none of your concern.’ She goes up the stairs so that they are on the same ground. Despite being far shorter than him, she does not back down. ‘Unless you’d like to hear from War Chief Sona herself,’ She then leans forward with a smug look. ‘Third in Command.’
Resh sneers at her, gritting his teeth as he glares.
‘Your title is a mockery.’ He throws at her. ‘Made worse because you gave birth to that-‘
‘My title is blessed.’ She throws right back. ‘Dare to cross my daughter, and you’ll have me to contend with.’ Her eyes ensnare him with poison. ‘And I won’t be nearly as forgiving as the Matriarchs.’
The two of them lapse into silence, sizing each other up. In the end, Resh is the first to fold. He trots off in defeat, yelling at another guard up the road for slacking off.
She watches him go, her brow furrowed and furious.
‘Mother. You…’ Aloy can only look at her, speechless in the wake of being defended so fiercely.
‘Ignore him.’ Her mother scoffs. ‘He’s…’ She suddenly looks at Aloy and then back at Resh. ‘I need to go speak with someone.’ She comes down the steps and takes Aloy’s face in her hands. ‘You have nothing to worry about, darling. Get a good night’s rest and do your best tomorrow.’
‘I… okay?’ Aloy says, confused. ‘Who do you have to talk to?’ She asks curiously.
‘It’s not important.’ Her mother kisses her forehead.
This time, Aloy is more prepared for it, but she still visibly flinches.
‘Have a good night, my daughter.’
The next morning, Aloy ascends the mountain for the Proving.
The other applicants are all her age, and while most of them do not seem to care about her presence one way or the other, there are two that have stood out thus far.
The first is Bast. From the moment she entered the cabin, he made his annoying presence known. And Aloy, with thoughts of both her mother and Rost consuming her head, completely ignored him. This only angered him more, however, so she lied. She said that she didn’t remember him at all. Nor the scar that he apparently gave to her as a child.
‘Really? That’s a cherished memory for you? That’s kind of pathetic, don’t you think? Haven’t you had anything better to do all this time?’
The look on his face was akin to a sour lemon, and that alone was payback enough.
The second was Vala. She had a kind smile, and a warm presence. She asked Aloy about how she was settling in at Mother’s Heart, and how she felt about finally meeting her mother.
‘Your mother is very respected here. She’s Second in Command, only below the War Chief herself.’ Vala explained. ‘She’s been pacing a lot these past few days, waiting to meet you.’
‘Has she?’ Aloy asked in a daze.
It’s so odd to hear, considering that she didn’t even know for sure that her mother existed until only a few hours ago.
‘She has.’ Vala said encouragingly. ‘She really loves you. Everyone can tell.’
Aloy was only able to hum in response, unsure of what to do with that information.
Aloy still isn’t sure what to do with it now, either, as she and the other aspirants approach the field where the Proving will start. Anticipation runs through her veins, her senses heightening as she brandishes her bow.
She can practically feel Bast’s gaze glaring into her back as they all make ready to start.
What she doesn’t feel, though, is another annoyingly malicious presence.
She had been told earlier that Resh should be here, as the first overseer of the Proving. Instead, another Brave crests the top of the hill. Someone that she doesn’t know the name of. She doesn’t have time to think much further on it, though, as they give the signal, and it all finally begins.
Aloy shoots down her machine and claims her trophy without a hitch.
She raises it to present to the overseer, only for it to be shot out of her hands. Aloy turns, spying Bast standing there with a smug look on his face. She glares at him, but before either of them can say anything, they are both startled as an outraged voice shouts at them.
‘BAST!’ They look toward the overseer. ‘Such actions will not be permitted! Give your trophy to Aloy. You will have to find another.’
‘But!’ Bast immediately back pedals, surprised and aghast. ‘She’s an outcast! She-!’
‘Now!’ The overseer only says, their word unyielding.
Bast teeters for a moment, before doing as told and throwing his trophy at Aloy in a fit of rage. She catches it, confused, but only turns to run as she is encouraged to proceed onwards.
The rest of the Proving is a complete blur after that.
Aloy is easily able to catch up to Vala and the others, putting all of her training to good use.
She is the first to put her trophy on the altar. And the first to be made a Brave.
All the while, Aloy can’t help feeling as if she’s being watched.
As people flock to her with congratulations, she only looks out toward the tree line in the distance, knowing without any doubt that Rost is there, watching her succeed.
Aloy is welcomed back into Mother’s Heart with open arms.
Her mother squeezes her tight, and Aloy slowly embraces her back, realizing that it’s finally over. That she won the Proving. Teersa and the other High Matriarchs ask Aloy what she would like as her prize, but she has no answer for them. She already has everything that she’s been striving for.
The Proving. Her boon. Her answers.
And now… her mother.
Throughout all of her days, all of her training, she never bothered to think about what happens after. And now that the time is here, she’s not sure what she’s meant to do with it.
For a few days, Aloy drifts with this question. The aspirants of the Proving are given a short amount of time to rest before being assigned to their posts, and Aloy takes that time to at least try to do what Rost had wished for her. For a little while, at least.
But living among the Nora… it’s an uphill battle to be sure.
There’s so many traditions and customs that she’s never heard of, not to mention the ones she already does know of but never imagined she’d be able to partake in.
One happens each morning, when her mother braids her hair.
Typically, yes, this task is done by a person’s mother, but it does not need to be done every single day. The Nora are extremely well versed in braids, after all, and through a combination of natural gels and oils, they can go up to six or eight weeks with perfectly braided hair.
Aloy herself has gotten very good at the practice of maintaining her own braids, and she has taken a lot of pride in being proficient enough to do it all by herself.
Her mother, though, was beyond upset when Aloy so much as mentioned this.
‘What? But I never got to do it for you! Not even once.’ She had said, looking hurt. ‘All those years… Please don’t ask me not to braid your hair. I would just die.’
And so, Aloy reluctantly gave in, allowing her mother to braid her hair to her heart’s content.
After each braiding session comes breakfast, something that Aloy would normally prepare for herself. While not the best cook, Rost taught her everything she knows, and she has worked hard for every meal she’s ever had. She had actually spent countless hours preparing jerky and other food stuffs for the Proving, unsure of what exactly the future would hold once it all ended.
Her mother is adamant, however, that Aloy doesn’t need any of those unsavory rations.
That she, as Aloy’s mother, will prepare each and every meal for her. All of which will be held to the highest standard of traditional Nora cuisine.
‘You were practically starving out there in the wilds.’ She said, looking over Aloy with a pitying gaze. ‘Really, what was that man raising you on for all those years? Twigs and berries?’
After breakfast comes training, an activity which Aloy often enjoyed partaking in with Rost. As she grew, their sessions became less frequent as she learned to gather her own materials for anything and everything she may need out in the wilds. Rost always instilled in her the importance of preparation and practice this way, stating that one day she would have to learn how to survive on her own as an independent adult.
With her mother, however, it is somehow as if Aloy were a child again.
‘I can’t have you straining yourself, darling. You’ve been through enough already out there in the wilds.’ Her mother said, her voice sugary sweet. ‘Come, one of the matriarch’s is giving another lecture on All-Mother. We should leave now to get a good spot.’
Once day inevitably ends, and night falls upon Mother’s Heart, comes the worst part of all.
While Rost’s cabin was never exactly big, she and him still slept separately. She always had her own bedroll, her own belongings, her own space, however small.
But here… it is normal for mothers and daughters to both share both a room and a bedroll. The bond between mother and daughter is sacred in this way, the two of them only truly separating when the daughter becomes a mother herself.
This is a fact of Nora culture that Aloy had unfortunately forgotten about up until now.
‘What?? No, you will sleep here. With me.’ Her mother had looked at her incredulously, taking her bedroll away. ‘Sleep on your own? I think not. What would All-Mother say?’
Aloy has never slept so close to another person before.
It is impossible for her to do so, too, as her mother insists on holding her close throughout the night, stating she never got to do so when Aloy was a child.
She is left quivering inside of it throughout the night. Like a mouse caught in a trap.
What’s worse is that her mother sleeps like a snake, curled and waiting for the first opportunity to strike.
The one time that Aloy had thought to sneak out, to look for Rost, she was caught the moment she so much as lifted the blanket.
‘Where are you going, Aloy? Bad dreams? Oh my poor darling, here let me comfort you.’
The more time Aloy spends with her mother, the more she realizes how… controlling she is.
She takes great interest in overseeing what Aloy eats, where she goes, what she wears, who she talks to. Everything. At first, Aloy had thought that it was just her being overprotective. Or perhaps making up for lost time. Aloy is her child, after all, and she has grown up without her.
That must be really hard to take, and Aloy can understand that.
Up to a point.
But this? Her mother is treating her like a child, as if she can’t do anything for herself.
It’s all so degrading. And unbearable.
They spend every waking minute of every day together, too. Being attached to someone at the hip like this, even if it is her mother, has resentment quickly growing in Aloy’s chest whether she wants it there or not. It’s a nagging feeling, an ire that she can’t control, only made worse whenever her mother looks at her with hurt in her eyes.
‘Why are so upset with me? I’m only trying to do my best for you, Aloy. I’ve missed you so much. All your life.’
Each time, the anger melts to leave shameful guilt in its wake, making Aloy feel horrible.
Her only saving grace is knowing that this can’t possibly last forever.
Aloy will be assigned to her post soon, and as the Brave that won the Proving, she will be sent out to the front lines. Far enough away from Mother’s Heart to be alone and independent again. Yet still close enough to The Embrace to see her mother whenever she wants. She can finally follow Rost’s trail. Resume her training, discover new secrets with her focus, and gather those parts she’s been looking for to upgrade her gear.
Everything will go back to the way it was.
Aloy would be lying if she said she wasn’t looking forward to it.
Aloy doesn’t protest at all when her mother braids her hair that morning.
Nor when they walk arm in arm to the meeting place.
War Chief Sona is already there, giving orders to the older Braves. Her mother gives Aloy’s hand a squeeze before leaving to join her, and Aloy takes her place among the newest Braves lined up for their postings.
Bast is here, glaring daggers at her as usual.
Vala is here too, and Aloy can’t help but smile a little as they stand side by side.
‘So, how have you been lately?’ Vala asks curiously. ‘Settling in?’
‘I… guess you could say that.’ Aloy says, not sure how to even begin to describe how the past few days have gone.
‘Well, we’ll be moving out soon.’ Vala says, nodding toward the War Chief. ‘I bet you’re going to be stationed up at Mother’s Crown.’
‘Mother’s Crown?’ Aloy parrots.
‘It’s past The Embrace. On the edge of the Sacred Land.’ Vala gestures toward the valley, where the North Gate looms. ‘I hear that a lot of winners get assigned there.’
Aloy feels something in her grow excited about this prospect.
All her life, she’s lived inside the walls of The Embrace.
Going somewhere new? Traveling?
It sounds exhilarating, especially now.
War Chief Son addresses them and starts to give out assignments not long after that. Vala gets her post before Aloy, and is given the task of guarding Mother’s Crown.
Aloy shares a glance with her, happy to hear they’ll maybe be assigned together.
But as Sona gets to her, Aloy is stunned by what the War Chief says.
‘Aloy. Mother’s Watch.’
Wait…
‘What?’ Aloy asks, confused.
Mother’s Watch? That’s inside of the Embrace. Not even a fifteen minute walk from Mother’s Heart. There isn’t even an outpost there. Guards that are assigned to it switch off between the two settlements, staying in their own homes at Mother’s Heart when not on duty.
‘At your mother’s request.’ Is all Sona says in explanation before moving on.
At this notion, Aloy looks at her mother, her green eyes crinkling with question and hurt.
Her mother does not meet her gaze.
‘It’s the closest post to All-Mother herself.’ Her mother says later that night, showing no remorse as she soothes her hands over her daughter’s shoulders. ‘It’s a good thing, darling.’ She kisses the top of her head.
Aloy shivers at the touch.
By now she is sure that her mother must have noticed how uncomfortable Aloy gets with touch, but that hasn’t stopped her in the slightest.
Aloy is slowly realizing that probably nothing will.
‘But that doesn’t make any sense.’ Aloy shakes her head, frustration coming over her. ‘I should be outside of The Embrace, not-‘
‘You’ll be safe there.’ Her mother talks over her.
The tone of her voice is sugary sweet, but her words sound more like a warning.
‘Within All-Mother’s sight at all times.’
That’s what her mother had said, but really, Aloy has grown to know better.
What she really means is that Aloy will be within her sight at all times.
As Second in Command, her mother is often away with the War Chief and the other high-ranking Braves. But since Aloy is still kept within the Embrace, there is no shortage of people that can help ‘keep an eye on her’ and ‘show her the ways of the Nora as she still adjusts.’
What that really comes down to is simple.
If Aloy steps even one toe out of line in the eyes of the Nora, by either attempting to engage with things from the Old World or trying to look for Rost, her mother instantly knows about it. Bast in particular takes great pleasure in personally delivering this news whenever Aloy “misbehaves,” and the consequences have been…
It started as little things. Her hair pulled just a tad too tight. Her food being a bit burnt. Loving words and touches suddenly growing less frequent.
Then things progressed. Into something worse…
Her mother stopped talking to her.
She wouldn’t look at Aloy. Wouldn’t touch her. Wouldn’t acknowledge her.
To be shunned like that…
By her mother of all people…
It hurt. It hurt so much more than Aloy was prepared for.
So much that Aloy actually thought about leaving the Nora behind to become an outcast once more. She’d have an easier time finding Rost, that’s for sure, and she could even venture out of the Sacred Lands altogether if she wanted to.
She’d been an outcast of the Nora for all her life, why not an exile too?
But this is… her mother. If Aloy did that, she would never be able to see her again.
Aloy could never abandon her. Just like she could never abandon Rost.
So, she stayed, and apologized even when she didn’t mean it.
Only then would her mother relent.
The loving words would come back. The warm embraces would return. And each time, her mother would have a sugary sweet smile on her face as she found it in herself to forgive Aloy.
‘You’re still learning, my darling.’ Her mother would say, kissing her forehead and holding her close. ‘But you need to be careful about these things. All-Mother is always watching.’
Aloy hasn’t exactly figured out what she means by that, but she didn’t care.
It’s been too long already. She has to find a way to get to Rost. Actually talk to him. Get him to realize that just because the law forbids it, that’s not a good enough reason to throw away everything that they’ve been through together. That somehow, they could make it work despite any law that stands between them.
She doesn’t want to just forget about him as if he never raised her. She can’t.
There has to be some way that she can find him without her mother knowing.
But try as she might, Aloy can’t find one.
Days continue to go by in this pattern, until eventually… she finds it.
An opportunity.
There’s been some disturbances lately among the other tribes. Rumors of machines that take control of others. If given even half a chance, Aloy would willingly be one of the first to go out and investigate, but like so many things, her mother forbids it.
‘Absolutely not.’ She said, her brow furrowed with anger. ‘You will stay here. Where it’s safe.’ She said sternly. ‘War Chief Sona and I will take care of it. There’s no need to worry, darling. Nothing will get you as long as I’m here.’
She held Aloy close, crushing her within her embrace.
‘Nothing will ever take you away from me again.’
While that rejection was frustrating, Aloy instead took it for what it was; an opening.
To investigate those disturbances, her mother will have to travel much farther than normal.
And that means… she’ll be gone for a few days.
Absolutely perfect.
Aloy says goodbye to her mother as usual the next morning, then sets her plan into motion.
Removing herself from her squad is laughably easy.
Everyone is jumpy with the news of the Corrupters, and a distraction isn’t hard at all.
‘Alright. Need to find Rost. And talk some sense into him.’ Aloy taps her focus to life when she’s finally free. Alone once more in the wilds. ‘Better start looking.’
Aloy spends all of that day and the next looking for any trace of Rost.
While her focus is normally an irreplaceable help with these things, for some reason this time her most treasured possession is having a hard time picking up a trail.
‘It’s maybe been too long.’ She says reluctantly once the second night starts to fall.
By now she’s searched all over The Embrace, and as much of the Sacred Land as she can cover. It’s as if Rost simply vanished, no trace of him left anywhere at all.
‘But there has to be something I’m missing. He wouldn’t just leave.’
Rost? Abandon All-Mother? He would never.
‘But… what if he did?’ Aloy blinks, her face falling.
“For your sake, I must go where you will never find me. This is goodbye.”
‘No.’ Aloy shakes her head, her brain working overtime to try and figure out what to do next.
As if on instinct, she starts to pace, thinking for a solution.
Without realizing it, her feet soon end up carrying her to the one place that always makes her feel safe. The one place she’s always been able to go to when things look bad.
Rost’s Cabin.
As she walks up the path, staring up at the wooden lodge, surprise comes over her face as she sees the familiar silhouette of someone standing there by the fire.
‘Rost!’ Aloy calls with relief, immediately going to his side. ‘You’re her-’
Her words die in her throat as she properly looks up at him, noticing the clear disappointment in his eyes.
He’s never… looked at her that way before.
‘Aloy.’ He stares down at her with a hard gaze. ‘I told you to embrace the tribe.’
‘I am embracing it.’ She scoffs. ‘As much as I can anyway.’ She shakes her head. ‘You don’t know what it’s been like, Rost.’ She frowns and looks off to the side. ‘I met my mother. And she’s…’ She pauses, thinking of how to explain. ‘This is a lot harder than I thought it’d be.’
‘I know already, Aloy.’ He says. ‘But being with your mother, it is what All-Mother intends for you. And what I’ve always wanted for you as well.’ He says earnestly. ‘Not for you to be wandering off in the wilds, disobeying her.’
‘Don’t say that. I…’ She starts, but then her words trail off as realization comes over her eyes. She slowly looks up at him, feeling dread form in her stomach. ‘Wait. You knew?’
Rost only looks at her for a long moment, that disappointment shining through once more.
Then, he brings his hands up to his lips… and whistles.
From beyond the fence surrounding the cabin, a whistle calls back.
Aloy turns and freezes as she sees her mother walk out of the shadows.
‘Mother.’ Aloy says, surprised and caught red handed as she looks between them. ‘How-?’
Her mother only holds up a hand, silencing her. Her eyes hold a furious gaze.
‘I normally do not accept help from outcasts.’ She says, not looking at Rost as she speaks. ‘But this time I will make an exception.’ She straightens her back, and starts walking toward her. ‘Come, Aloy. We are going home.’
‘No, I don’t…’ Aloy looks at Rost, a look of betrayal on her face. ‘Rost, I-‘
He does not look at her as he turns away to leave down the path.
Her heart shatters as she sees him walk away from her again.
No!
She reaches toward him, running to close the distance.
‘Rost! Wait!’
She is stopped as her wrist is suddenly grabbed.
‘Silence.’ Her mother says, the word final. ‘Aloy, I have tried to be patient with you, but this I cannot accept.’ When Aloy struggles, she only pulls her closer, staring down at her child with ire. ‘Do you want to be outcast again? What would have happened if I didn’t find you just now?’
Aloy turns and pulls against her mother’s grip, trying to chase after Rost once more, but one glance back at the path shows that he’s already gone.
She turns to her mother, unable to keep the scoff out of her voice.
‘Patient?’ Aloy asks, countering the disappointment in her mother’s gaze with anger in her own. ‘Is that what you call what you’ve been doing?’
‘How dare you talk to your mother like that.’ She seethes. ‘What I do for you, I do out of love!’
‘It’s not love, it’s control.’ Aloy accuses, confronting her directly, letting out all of the anger and frustration that she’s felt for too long in the wake of losing Rost once more. ‘I’m not a child, mother. No matter how much you want me to be.’ She accuses. ‘I can take care of myself. I don’t need to be looked after, and I can make my own decisions.’ She snaps. ‘I’ve waited my entire life to meet you, but if this is what it’s like to live among the tribe, what it’s really like to have a mother, then I don’t-‘
Aloy isn’t able to finish her sentence as something strikes her.
A harsh, fast sensation of pain against her cheek.
It takes her a few seconds to realize that her mother has slapped her.
‘I’ve tried to be reasonable Aloy. I have. I’ve kept an eye on you. I’ve taught you All-Mother’s ways.’ Her mother says, the usual sugar sweet tone melting away into poison. ‘But it just seems that you’re tainted more than I thought.’
She bends down, picking something off the ground as Aloy cradles her cheek, looking hurt. Aloy’s fingers touch an empty space by her temple, belatedly realizing that there is something missing as she sees what her mother has in her hands.
‘I don’t know what this is, but clearly it’s corrupting you.’ She says, fiddling with Aloy’s focus. ‘You’re getting all of these ideas in your head from this thing. I know it.’ She glares at it with clear venom in her gaze. ‘Is the Metal Devil talking to you through it? Corrupting your thoughts?’
‘No!’ Aloy reaches for her focus. Her mother only grabs her wrist again, holding the device just out of reach. ‘No, it’s not! Give it back. Please?’
‘Aloy, I am going to get through to you.’ Her mother says with a glare. ‘You are a child of All-Mother. And a child of mine.’ She seethes. ‘And you are going to start acting like it.’
With that, her mother closes her hand into a fist, breaking the focus into a thousand pieces.
‘We are going home. Now.’
Aloy is alone. All alone.
She barely remembers the walk back to Mother’s Heart. The only thing on her mind was Rost, as she slowly came to realize that he knew exactly what was happening this entire time.
He… had told her mother where she was.
Rost… He… has abandoned her.
Aloy’s wrist still hurts from when her mother dragged her all the way back to their cabin, down the hall and into their shared room.
And locked the door.
Aloy doesn’t know how long she’s been in here.
At first, she banged on the door, asking to be let out, asking to talk things through. When that didn’t work, she tried other means. But without any weapons or tools, she didn’t get very far. There are no windows in here, only a single room made of heavy, solid wood logs that have probably stood here for far longer than she’s been alive. She tries everything she can think of regardless, taking pieces of the bed and sparse furniture apart to try to fashion any tools that could possibly help. None of them work. She tries scaling the walls. There’s nowhere to go. She meticulously looks for any weak points in the wood. There are none to be found.
Nothing budges no matter how many times she tries.
If she had her focus, maybe she could come up with something, but as it stood…
It takes Aloy three days to admit that she’s trapped.
With no other options, she reluctantly gave in, and apologized to her mother.
No matter if Aloy was actually sorry or not, her mother always forgave her.
As long as she apologized, it always made everything go away.
…
It didn’t work this time.
No matter how many times Aloy says that she’s sorry, her mother does not talk to her.
‘Mother… please.’ Aloy pleads, hearing her mother’s footsteps outside the door. ‘I’m sorry.’
She bangs her fist against the door for the thousandth time, breathing heavily as panic starts to creep in more and more as time goes by. Aloy has spent her entire life outdoors. It’s unbearable to be locked up in such a small space for so long. To have her freedom taken away.
To be a little mouse caught in a trap.
‘Please, mother. Please don’t shun me…’
Her mother does not answer, silent as a snake.
After what feels like an eternity, the door is finally opened.
Her mother takes Aloy’s face in her hands, a sickly-sweet smile on her lips.
‘I’m sorry, darling. I know it’s hard.’ She says sympathetically. ‘But it’s as All-Mother intended.’ She reassures her. ‘Everything is settled. Soon, you won’t feel these urges anymore for that man, or for the Metal World.’ She assures. ‘I know where they’re coming from now. And we’re going to make it right.’
‘What?’ Aloy asks, those words causing dread to settle in the pit of her stomach.
‘I’ve talked to the High Matriarchs. They’re going to make an exception for you.’ Her mother says. ‘It’s All-Mother’s will, darling.’ She runs a hand through Aloy’s hair, her gaze lingering on the strands.
‘No more red, only her divine will.’
Everything happens so fast.
People enter the room, carrying brushes and bowls.
It takes Aloy far too long to understand exactly what’s happening.
Only when she sees the dye.
One of a strong scent, and an even stronger color.
Aloy clutches onto her mother as people hold her down and start sectioning her hair.
‘Mother… please!’ She clutches tightly. ‘Don’t do this.’
‘It’s already done, Aloy.’ Her mother only frowns at her, frustration building behind her eyes.
‘Wait, you can’t!’ Aloy says, remembering something. ‘I still have my boon. From the Proving.’ She looks across the room to where Teersa is watching with a pitying gaze. ‘I won’t do this.’
Teersa only looks at her with a frown.
‘Aloy, that is not the case here.’ Teersa says. ‘This is your mother’s will.’ She says with emphasis. ‘A mother’s will is sacred among the tribe. You must know this already.’
‘You see? You see?! She’s still poisoned by the Metal Devil.’ Her mother says angrily, pulling at Aloy’s hair. ‘I never should have let that horrible man have you.’ She spits. ‘I’m going to fix this!’
‘Yes.’ Lansra encourages her along with the other Matriarchs. ‘Do what you must. Cleanse your daughter of the Metal Devil!’
‘Don’t! Please!’ Aloy pleads to her mother, struggling to escape.
But it’s too late.
Her red hair is extinguished. A flame that loses its spark. Overcome with darkness.
A dark shade of brown to match her mother’s.
Aloy is… powerless to stop her.
Her mother braids Aloy’s hair to match hers, and paints her face with Nora blue. She throws away her hair beads, and burns Rost’s necklace in an open fire.
‘You are your mother’s daughter, Aloy.’ Teersa says in earnest, trying to be comforting.
‘Her will is what is best for you.’ Teb concurs with a smile.
‘As All-Mother intended.’ Vala agrees.
“It is my wish that you embrace the tribe.”
Once everything is done, Aloy doesn’t recognize the person that greets her in the mirror.
‘There now.’ Her mother’s hands smooth over Aloy’s quivering shoulders, her voice sugary sweet once more. ‘That’s much better, huh?’ She hums, running her fingers through Aloy’s brown hair and wiping away the tears that fall from her eyes.
…
‘There’s my darling daughter.’
Aloy gasps, sitting up violently with a shout.
She breathes, wrapping her arms around herself as cold seeps into her bones, the uncomfortable feeling allowing for reality to slowly sink in.
The world is cold, white filled, with dancing lights all around.
‘That’s right.’ Aloy whispers, breathing heavily as she looks around, gradually recognizes where she is. ‘This is… GAIA Prime.’
It was a long, strenuous journey to make it this far, and she must have… fallen asleep?
Aloy suddenly gasps, reaching up toward her temple. Her fingers touch the chilled triangular shape of her focus, and she crumbles, clutching onto it tightly.
‘My focus! It’s still here.’
She sits with that comforting fact for several moments, before her fingers then reach for her hair. Aloy hesitates for a long while, then shakily pulls some strands forward to take a look.
Auburn red tresses meet her gaze.
Aloy could just about cry right then and there.
‘It was a dream.’ She whispers with relief, burying her face into her hands as she shakes her head. ‘Just a horrible dream.’
She looks up, feeling relieved and elated, before her face falls. Her eyes land on a hologram in the center of the room.
That’s right…
Aloy comes to stand before the memorial of pixelated data and rose petals.
She reaches up to the face above the petals, cupping a holographic cheek with her fingers.
Hair as red as fox fur. Blushing rosacea that dances across her cheeks. A thousand speckled freckles that frame her face. And eyes that are as deep as fathomless greenshine.
And a name. One so beautiful and ancient that it could come from an Old World story book.
‘Elisabet.’ She calls.
Aloy can feel tears gather in her eyes.
‘Mother…’ She whispers, her voice cracking as she bows her head with a shaky breath.
Grateful to have the true answers about where she came from.
And grateful to know exactly who her mother is.
Sylens is in her ear not long after that, eager for updates, and Aloy reluctantly turns away from the altar. She casts one last lingering glance at Elisabet, before leaving GAIA Prime behind to continue on her journey once more.
End


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